![]() i love you so much” -“shut up, trashmouth. what would i do without you?” -“crash and burn” -so he goes to eddie, not knowing if he should confront him straight up or wait til eddie says something himself -but that’s obviously never gonna happen so plan b -they’re chilling in richie’s room, doing homework -richie puts his math book down and starts kissing eddie’s neck -“rich, stop, i’ve got work to do” -then he starts playing with eddie’s hair -“richie you’re distracting me” -“you’re so beautiful, eds. ![]() he feels bad about himself, he’s got body dysmorphia” -and of course she then had to explain what that term actually means -but then it all comes together in the old trashmouth’s head -“you’re a godsend, marsh. ![]() so eddie has always been small -compact, if you will -and he secretly liked being small, being able to fit in people’s (richie’s) arms so well, finding the tiniest of spots to hide during hide and seek -but one day while after he got to high school, sometime after he hit puberty, something changed in him -he got taller and thicker and he wasn’t enjoying it -he started to feel like he was taking up too much space -he kept these thoughts to himself, as he does with most everything -but they all notice eventually -he won’t sit on bill’s shoulders to play chicken anymore -won’t let stan give him piggyback rides -before he started seeing himself this way he used to borrow bev’s sweaters all the time but now he refuses because he’s convinced he’ll stretch them out -he won’t ride on the back of mike’s bike when they travel around town -and richie especially notices when eddie won’t let him wrap his arms around his waist anymore -at first richie thought eddie was slowly distancing himself -trying to slip away -he was so hurt when eddie refused to cuddle or change in front of him -he goes to bev, who is obviously one of his best friends, -“i just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore you know? he won’t let me touch him like ever” -“richie, can’t you see it? it’s not you, it’s him. ![]()
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